More Wheaton

I found a video version of Wil Wheaton's PAX keynote. What strikes me about this is how well he knows his audience and how well he plays to them.

Ensign Crusher, You're So Dreamy

I am so gay for Wil Wheaton. Not only is he a total hottie, but he's smart and funny as all git out. He delivered the keynote address at Penny Arcade Expo, an annual gathering of video gamers. He recounts his childhood growing up in the 80s being a nerd. In telling his story he tells my story.

This magnificent bit of storytelling would be right at home on This American Life. Whether or not you're a gamer, this is worth a listen.

Thanks, Wil. You're awesome.

What are you doing Friday night?

The 80s *Will* Live Forever

I could try to write about my life. But how can I when there's this?




Samantha Fox is the Goddess of the Temple of 80s Pop Culture at which I worship.

I can scarcely express how much pleasure this brings me! I'm not getting a damn thing done. I just want to watch this video over and over. And to make it just that much sweeter, the song is a "duet" with this no-talent, Freddie Mercury wanna be named Gunther.

Fucking "Gunther"! Who the hell is named Gunther?!?!

He looks he fell through a time portal from San Francisco Castro Street circa 1972. At one point in the video Samantha tells Gunther, "you're so sexy!" And he looks at himself in the mirror and nods in agreement.

Who writes this crap? And please, oh please, oh please let them never stop!

And there's more where this came from. Check out the videos on GuntherNet.com. How can you not love lines like "You touch my Tra La La," from "The Ding Dong Song".

I may weep from joy ... when I stop laughing, that is. Gunther, baby, I didn't know it could be this way!

All the videos have hot gyrating Swedish women in them, and yet still somehow come off as the gayest shit ever. One of them has a half-naked dancing midget in a Santa outfit. No really.

Words fail me.

80s Jokes - Part 4

(If you're just joining this series already in progress, please use the links at the right to jump to the intro.)

There were about 30 people in the crowd Saturday night at Joe Franklin Comedy Club, which is great turn out for that club. They were a real challenge. I've gotten more laughs in that room from a crowd half the size. And boy oh boy did I learn a lot.

80s Jokes -- Version 4.0 -- Transcript

As you can tell by my hair the 80s are back. {N}

Which is a big relief for me because I've been listening to the same Duran Duran and Pet Shop Boys albums for 20 years. But now that it's come back 'round. I'm cool again. The New York Times said so. {N}

I love pop music. Vapid Boys Bands, Boobalicious Britney, Christina Skank-u-lara. {N} Whatever her name is.

I like my pop stars thin, gorgeous and without a single thought in their pretty little heads. {C}

As far as I'm concerned, the most brilliant song lyrics ever written, Samantha Fox, Naughty Girls Need Love Too. {N}

So when grunge and rap took over 15 years ago, boy was I pissed off. This was me during the 90s....

[fingers in ears, eyes clenched shut ... chanting loudly like a kid who doesn't want to listen]

"LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! [singing] I know what boys like. I know what boys want." {N}

RUNNING TIME -- 0:55

Notes

I'm not posting the sound file because, well, there are no laughs on it. As you can see from the transcript, the bit got only one small chuckle. By the end of the act out, I felt like I'd walked the plank. So I ran as fast as my little comedy feet would carry me back to proven material, which started getting the laughs.

So what happened?

The crowd was one of the youngest I've ever played. Table after table was full of 18-22 year old kids. And the kids don't go for the 80s jokes, at least not these kids. Which isn't surprising. Just looking at them I could tell they all listen to rap and hip hop ... Puff Daddy, or P Diddy, whatever ... M&M and Biggie Smallie. Even though I don't think the bit requires a love or even knowledge of 80s culture, they simply didn't relate to it.

Connecting to very young audiences is much harder because they don't have as much life experience and therefore don't relate to as much. They know music, getting drunk and trying to get laid ... and for a lot of them, that's it. And they have very short attention spans.

The previous audiences for these jokes were more late 20-somethings and 30-somethings. I think they're the right people for this bit.

I conceived this as an intro bit ... something light that's about me ... that I can do before the heavier stuff about my childhood. While I think the bit is good, I'm starting to think it may not be strong enough to be an intro bit.

An intro bit must work reliably with all audiences. This bit seems to be more of a niche bit.

The good news is that all three of my other new bits killed with the young audience. One even got an applause break, one of the only ones of the whole nite. They especially loved all my computer jokes. The kids always do. And my new Gay is Trendy bit did very well with them. Because it connects to their current pop culture. So it actually turned out to be a great set.

Conclusions

Leighann Lord (www.veryfunnylady.com) headlined the show Saturday. She's a brilliant lady who just oozes class. We were talking shop after the show and she said of our somewhat stingy audience, "They were facing the stage and they were paying attention. I can work with that." What a perfect attitude!

I've seen comics on stage who are doing badly start bitching at the audience. They then wonder why they bomb.

It's easy when they're drunk and boisterous. It's harder when they're subdued and skeptical. Saturday was a challenging show. Several comics did very badly. But I made it work, as Leighann did after me. And for that I'm pretty proud of myself.

These 80s jokes are cute. They aren't devastating brilliant. But they're effective with certain audiences. They should probably go later in a set, not at the beginning.

I have a certain fondness for these jokes. But being fond of one's own material is a deadly trap. This writing excercise is really helping me be much more objective about these jokes.

I will try this block again when the crowd seems right.

Bonus Lesson

Another thing happened that was a nice bit of progress for me.

Because my stage time is so precious, I tend to rehearse and plan quite a lot. If I'm rambling and unfocused, I can do maybe 4-5 bits. If I'm focused and tight, I can do 7-8 bits.

So I did my set, exactly as I planned, and then something happened for which I wasn't prepared. I didn't get the light (the signal that time's up) and I fell off the end of my set. When this has happened in the past, I've had a tendency to panic and just leap off stage.

"Uhhhhh ... thank you, goodnight!"

But I looked at the producer, she was paying attention and smiling, I kept checking and she wasn't signaling. So I kept going.

I started doing old bits I had taken out to make room for the new bits. After each one I checked again, still no signal. So I'd do another. The transitions were a tad rough for my own standards. But that's minor. The audience didn't notice or care. And I had a few too many um's and ah's while I quickly decided what to do next. Again, minor. They didn't care. And because they were proven old bits I was doing, they were working nicely.

So by keeping my cool I got to do three extra bits and had a great 10 minute set.

I don't know if the producer left me up longer by accident. Or because I was doing well on kind of a tricky night so she wanted to give the audience a few more minutes with me. But it doesn't matter. What matters is I am learning to be aware of what's happening and adapt rapidly on stage.

I can feel the pace at which I'm learning accelerating. All these little light bulbs are starting to click on in my mind. Books I've read and advice I've received are coming into focus in new and exciting ways.

For example, I've long known that the order of bits matters. And that certain subjects do and don't work with certain audiences. But until recently this has been an abstract concept. I'm starting to learn how these concepts apply directly to me, my audiences and my bits.

It's thrilling.

But it's also a little frustrating. I need stage time. The faster I can get it, the faster I'll learn.

Most importantly, I'm starting to get a certain confidence in what I'm doing. I'm starting to feel like I have some control over what happens when I'm on stage and that I can reliably deliver the laughs.

Like I said ... it's thrilling.

80s Jokes - Part 3

(If you're just joining this series already in progress, please use the links at the right to jump to the intro.)

OK. At long last I'm going to do what should have been done at the start.

80s Jokes -- Version 3.0 -- Written Script

As you can tell by my hair the 80s are back.

Which is a big relief for me because I've been listening to the same Duran Duran and Pet Shop Boys albums for 20 years. But now that it's come back 'round. I'm cool again. The New York Times said so.

I love pop music. Vapid Boys Bands, Britney Boobalicious, Christina Skank-u-lara.

I like my pop stars thin, gorgeous and without a single thought in their pretty little heads.

So when grunge and rap took over 15 years ago, boy was I pissed off. This was me during the 90s....

[fingers in ears, eyes clenched shut ... chanting loudly like a kid who doesn't want to listen]

"LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! [singing] I know what boys like. I know what boys want."

RUNNING TIME -- 0:40

Notes & Conclusions

After 15 minutes of writing it's 40% shorter and 300% better.

It's got a cute intro, The proven New York Times joke, the celebrity name thing, which I think will do better now that it stands on its own, a rewrite on the "vapid" concept, and the proven finish. All the fluff and useless tags are gone.

See, Dale? Writing is a good thing.

The next performance for this bit will be tomorrow night back at Joe Franklin Comedy Club for a "real" audience.

80s Jokes - Part 2

Still not having written it down, but having rehearsed it a fair amount, I did the 80s bit for the second time. Here's the recording.

DaleSorenson_80s_Jokes2.mp3

80s Jokes -- Version 2.0 -- Transcript
Performance at Stand-Up NY Open Mic

As you can tell by my hair the 80s are back. {N}

Which is a big relief for me because I've been listening to the same Cyndi Lauper and Pet Shop Boys albums for 20 years. {N} But now it's come 'round again. I'm cool. The New York Times said so. {B}

Must be true if The New York Times said so. {N}

I'm 36-year-old. I don't care who knows. I love pop music. Boy bands, Britney Boobalicious {N}, Christina Skank-u-lara {N} ... whatever her name is ... bring 'em on. I love it. I love my pop stars pretty and my pop music vapid. {N}

Because when I'm in the mood to dance the last thing I want is a lecture from some politically-correct millionaire about how I'm personally responsible for destroying the environment and slaughtering baby seals. {N}

So the 90s came along and rap music, R&B took over the radio stations, MTV. I was so pissed off. This was me during the 90s ... [fingers in ears, eyes clenched shut, face in a grimace ... chanting loudly like a kid who doesn't want to listen] "LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! [singing] I know what boys like. I know what boys want. {B}

RUNNING TIME -- 1:00

Notes

In making this second transcript here's what I've noticed.

Once again, I thought it went well. And once again I'm wrong, for different reasons.

There are laughs in this bit. But except for the last one, not a single one of them is where I seem to think they should be. Notice how the bold punchlines are consistently followed by {N} no audience reaction. And that the laughs that are there {B} are consistently not after punchlines.

This points even more to the need for the bit to be written down and edited. Which I'm going to do next.

One happy little accident, rearranging some of the opening lines produced a laugh I wasn't expecting, "I'm cool. The New York Times said so." So I'm definitely keeping that.

Because this was an open mic, the audience was mostly other comics. This is bad. It is bad because comics don't laugh at the same things "real" audiences laugh at. As a result, a comic gets a distorted view of his material at an open mic.

Comics like two things, sleazy and clever. They don't like cute. The joke about my hair and the two singers names I play with are definitely cute jokes. So they got nothing from the comics. But I believe a real audience will like these. I'll confirm this the next time I do this bit.

Conclusion

The bit is starting to work, in spite of me doing everything I can to screw it up.

I'm going to edit it based on where it's actually getting laughs and where I think there is still potential.

80s Jokes - Part 1

Introduction

I conceived this bit while riding the subway to a gig. I'd had a bad day and was listening to Backstreet Boys to put me in a good mood. (No, I'm not kidding.) And I started thinking about how I love pop music, 80s pop in particular.

Below is a transcript of how I did the bit the first time, before I'd committed anything to paper. Things that are meant to be punchlines are bold. The audience tells me if they actually are punchlines or not. Often with a first draft, I write things that I think are jokes and they turn out not to be. Occasionally the audience will tell me that something I didn't know was a joke, something I've written that I thought was merely setup or a segue, is actually funny in its own right. It doesn't happen often. But it's always a delight when it does, because I feel like these "accidental" jokes are free.

Audience reactions are rated in {braces}.

{A} Big laugh
{B} Modest laugh
{C} Small chuckles
{N} No laughs

Here's the recording. Right click to save the file to your drive. Mac users hold down the Control key and click to save.

DaleSorenson_80s_Jokes1.mp3

80s Jokes -- Version 1.0 -- Concept Transcript
Performance at Joe Franklin Comedy Club

So it's official now, the New York Times said it, so it must be true, the 80s are back.

Oh my God, I'm so excited, I nearly wet myself. {C}

I've been listening to the same Pet Shop Boys and Duran Duran albums for 20 years so now it come back around and I'm cool again. {N}

Which is so awesome because I love pop music. Boy bands, Britney Boobalicious {C}, Christina Skank-u-lara {C} ... whatever her name is ... bring it on. All of them. I like my pop stars pretty and my pop music vapid. {N}

Because when I'm in the mood to have fun the last thing I want is a lecture from some millionaire about how I'm personally responsible for clubbing baby seals and ruining the environment. {C} I wanna have some fun.

And the 90s came along and what'd we get? We got grunge and rap. This was me during the nineties ... [fingers in ears, eyes clenched shut, face in a grimace ... chanting loudly like a kid who doesn't want to listen] "LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! {C} [singing] I know what boys like. I know what boys want. {B}

So it's all come back around. Samantha Fox is back in. "Naughty Girls Need Love Too". {N}

RUNNING TIME -- 1:20

Notes

In making this transcript I'm struck by several things. After the performance, I actually thought this was a pretty good bit. I was wrong, wrong, wrong. It was, in fact, terrible. I'm actually embarrassed by how bad this is. So much so that I'm having second thoughts about publishing it here because I don't want anyone to see how utterly wretched this is. I can't believe I actually said on stage "Oh my God, I'm so excited, I nearly wet myself." Cringe! Groan!

The only reason I'm not pulling the plug on this, is that as I write this, I've already done this bit a second time and I know the story gets better. Now it's not that I'm being a self-flagelating sniveling performing artist here. ("I suck! It's terrible! I'm a hack! Please validate me.") This bit is a good concept. But the execution was wreched this first time.

Second, I wrote "Britney Boobalicious" and "Christina Skank-u-lara" to be funny, but then didn't treat them as jokes. I stepped on my laughs. (That's comic speak for talking over the audience laughing instead of pausing to let them laugh.) I treated them as setup for "Pretty and Vapid," which didn't get a laugh. And by stepping on my laughs I cut what could have been "B" laughs down to "C" laughs. You can hear it in the recording. Timing is everything.

I got nothing on the environment joke. Not sure what's wrong there. Perhaps it's just not funny. I'll give it another chance with another audience.

I like the reference to the Samantha Fox song title. But it didn't get a laugh. If I want to keep this reference, I'll have to rework it.

Finally, like virtually all of my bits when they're first written, it's rambling and unfocused. It goes on too long and I'm trying to get too many laughs from the concept so that by the time I'm done, the well has run dry.

Conclusions

All of the problems with this bit have one very simple solution.

It needs to be written down.

I often don't write a bit down until I've tried it to see if it gets laughs. Because I think to myself, "writing is a lot of work. I don't want to invest the time to write if it turns out the bit isn't worth it."

This is lazy. But more importantly, it is absolutely dead wrong.

Writing down a 1 minute bit isn't that much work. And I can't possibly hope to discover whether a bit has potential until I've refined it.

Not writing and just peforming off the top of my head is a bad, bad habit.

It stops now.

Part of the reason for this blog is to get me in the habit of writing often and to make it natural for me. It's already working. Just look at what I've learned here.

I am, by nature, chatty and opinionated. When it comes to ideas and writing, these traits serve me well. But once I've got a long rambling idea, the editor needs to take over. The editor needs to shorten it, refine it and set it free from the extra words that bog it down.

Davinci once said that the statue is already there inside the block of stone and all he needed to do is chip away the extra bits to set it free. The same applies to comedy. The bit is there, inside all the rambling. And it's dying to be set free.

From bad beginnings, good things can still grow.

Stay tuned....

80s Jokes - Intro

Since I said this blog would be a creative diary, I thought I'd actually document something creative here. I've written a new bit about how much I love 80s music. As I work this bit out in the coming weeks, I plan to post the evolution of the script here, including comments on audience reaction. Hopefully you'll find this interesting. And hopefully I'll have some new insights from this exercise. Your comments are welcome.