Gee, Thanks

Lost, ABC's fantasy suckfest full of hotties, intrigue and sex now has a gay character. He's the psychotic, evil, sorta-sea-captain-looking guy.

Now, I'd get my panties in a bunch about the gay character being psychotic and evil except everyone on that loony island is one or the other. The interesting ones are both. So fine.

He's a total eyesore but he has a taste for the finer things in life. He enjoys Manhattan hotel suites, room service and super-hot, foreign boys. This is a man I can respect.

So what hot, man-on-man action does Lost have to offer?

"Arturo, we have some business to conduct. Could you leave us alone for a minute?"

Stage direction: Kiss on the cheek. Arturo exits.

What?!?!

That's it. No hot hotel action. No showering. No lingering bedroom shots. No running around in very little clothing like ... say ... all the straight characters.

Nope. None of that for the queers.

Gay = Get off screen as fast as possible before you make anyone nervous.

Go fuck yourself, Lost.

I'm paying $1.99 per episode for this to suck? - Unplugged Part 3

(This series started here, "Unplugged - Part 1".)

Buying TV by the episode is a very different consumer experience from having cable TV. This didn't hit me right away because the first couple shows I grabbed are reliably good. But now that I've expanded to shows in which I have a more casual interest, I'm much more aware of the quality of what I'm watching and whether it's worth it or not.

It strikes me odd that it took this shift in spending to give me this realization. Because money is far from our most valuable asset. Our time and attention are the most valuable things we, as sentient beings, can give or spend.

When I had cable TV, I used to just chuckle when a series jumped the shark. Now I find myself thinking, "I'm paying $1.99 per episode for this to suck?"

Going unplugged has made me far more conscious of what I choose to watch. Because each and every show is a conscious choice instead of an act of passive, slack-jawed, remote-in-hand, couch potatoery.

(Potatoery is so totally a word and if you don't believe me look it up. Don't contradict me.)

Which brings me to this.

Lost sucks.

Whoa, Nelly, does it suck.

The first season was awesome. Season 2 was OK. Season 3 sucked. And now that season 4 has started, it sucks too. It no longer has a narrative. It's just a sad attempt to string together spooky events and spooky characters with startling revelations and laughably out of place spooky music.

In particular, I've never forgiven Lost for killing off the character played by adorable, fluffy-muffin-head, Ian Somerhalder.

(((swoon)))

And then Lost forced me to wait a whole year for the death of the character of his annoying, selfish, stupid, bratty, whiny sister. That almost made season 2 worth it. While the violins played and she gasped her dying breath I was literally jumping up and down on the sofa for joy.

Fuck she was irritating.

But I digress....

So now I have a dilemma. This is the last season. Do I keep watching out of some desperate hope for improvement and closure?

I probably will. If only because I have a credit on my XBox Live account and can't seem to find anything better to do with it. And sometimes, despite my soliloquy on the preciousness of our time and attention, you just want to zone out and make fun of something.

Lost will do I suppose.

Sigh ... two months until new Battlestar Galactica.

I'm continuing to evaluate the video quality of Apple TV and XBox Live video. I'll have more to say about this in the future. For now I'll just say the dramatic variance is unexpected and startling.

I'm Too Lazy To Get Lost

I'm really into the show, Lost. The story and mythology are excellent.

The show creators have also given us an online game, The Lost Experience. It is set in the same universe but tells different stories that do not intersect with the show.

It all starts at The Hanso Foundation, which seems pleasant enough at first, but quickly takes a turn toward the dark and sinister.

Hint, start with the newsletter sign up and be sure to remember your username. You'll need it when you come back later.

If, like me, you're too lazy to figure it all out yourself, here a Lost Experience Walk Through.