Bless You ... Times a Hundred ... Times a Million ... Times Infinity

I have a problem.

Multitudes of friends and total strangers are under the impression that I am suffering from either The Black Plague or evil spirits leaving my body.

Thanks for your concern. But it's just allergy season.

Sneezes being cause by evil spirits is no longer a widely held view. So it strikes me very odd that the "Bless You" is still practically compulsory.

When I point this out to people, they say they're just being polite.

Fine.

But ...

Why is the sneeze the only bodily function that demands a ritualized comment from complete strangers?

It's stupid.

And what's more, it's presumptuous.

"Sneeze."

"Bless You."

"No thanks. You can keep your religious superstition to yourself. I don't need it."

As I'm sure you can imagine, this reply wins me lots of goodwill.

So I'm trying to come up with something less confrontational.

"Sneeze."

"Bless You."

"No thanks. My sneezes aren't that important."

If Madonna or The Pope sneezes in your presence ... bless away!

But me?

I'll pass, thanks.