My Mother Is Either a Comic Genius or Bat-Shit Insane

This morning, as I drowsily sipped my coffee and opened my email, I got the living daylights scared out of me when the first thing I saw was the subject line "Donna Lynn Sorenson Obituary".

Turns out my Mom is not, in fact, dead. Nor is she dying.

The message was my mother sending the obituary she has written for herself out to all five of her children.

Because it's written in the past tense, I find reading it to be mind-bogglingly creepy.

In this obituary, my mother, a former English teacher, misspelled her own first name.

She also had this to say about it, "I tried to keep it somewhat short since every word "costs"--always the bargain-hunter 'til the end!"

Either this is the best practical joke she's ever pulled, or she is out of her fucking mind. And as the universe is my witness, I have utterly no idea which it is.